How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Alive.
So much puke
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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