Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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