dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
