When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
4 words: hood of his car
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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