either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
