I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
