they're like a gay fantastic four
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
