Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
