the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
