It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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