WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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