Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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