Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
