i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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