Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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