I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
