And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
