Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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