i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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