Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
