lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
