Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
