Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
