We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
