So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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