so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
