So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
