SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can you bring me the toilet please
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
