Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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