Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
