Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
