I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
