in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
