I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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