omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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