i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Two words: nipple clamps
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