sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
