Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
