I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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