He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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