So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
