WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Acid is not a monday night drug
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
