I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
