Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(647): View more from Ontario

Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.

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(517): View more from Michigan

i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

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(276): View more from Virginia

You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"

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