..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
