he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize