Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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