apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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