If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
