I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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