he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
