his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
