Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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