he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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