You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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