belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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