I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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