Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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